3rd

dear dearly,

hi how was the day? i did hit the wall and took the car to the service station immediately, lol. i was avoiding mom and dad's anxious, but the side effect is, i'm little bit more careless of driving my genny! yesterday i did the rear view mirror hit the fence twice, genny and mom's car. and dad saw it and he just screamed here and there, that was scary. lol. i think that i'm become nervous of driving car, i mean become more, than ever. i don't know.

and well ya, I curse a lot during riding, cars and trucks and motorcycles are become resent. oh gosh, i hope it wouldn't last forever!

talking about riding, i always remember dad's line he always say to me, " be safe! "

do you know what first thing on my head after heard that? " uhm. it means he protect me or the car? " lol

and another point of 'be safe!' ... i'm wondering, how sad you will be, if i died or something?

ah ya kinda terrify thought, but my curious is on max! lol

because, mostly, somebody will perceived so dear after he/she leaves. hm ya, you know I won't leave you... that's why what i'm wondering is about death. how will you do? 

ahh yaa... i remember, i've ever asked you about this, and you said you'll join my death. lol. and you said it with a little tickle, a little laugh. hi you, i asked you seriously.

well it's nerd. cause I ever told you that I hate death. i hate somebody i loved leaved me... ya it's so suck. i hate being alone, know it ya? and now just wondering, what if you should feel that, do you feel as suck as i feel or less or more? lol. mean it, i'm absolutely wondering!

but ya... I always ask God to not separate us. i can't. He knows I can't too. lol

but i always believe if things or somebody destined belong to us, they won't leave, God won't take, and universe will keep us staying.... and another thing i ask God is, that you're one of my numerous beloved, won't ever leave. amen :)

love you :)

2nd

Beloved Benny.

how is it going there? wish everything's going okay, this is your first day on your new stage and hopefully you're so impressed on it, so you'll  enjoy your next 4 weeks :)

well, i already miss you. uh.

dammit, I had a tiring day! so many things to did. you know the foreign students have just been here, and we were so 'busy' to prepare. aha.. actually not that busy yet nervous to meet them. lol

and noticeably, you are jealous on them, ha? lol. you thought that I accompany privately a guy? that's so funny baby... no no. you don't need to jealous or things... i accompany a girl named Monica. I've told you lately ya? sorry :)

I resentful for your new stage, why do they give you stand by ration on Saturday and Sunday? they take my Saturday night with you, uh. can't you switch it with a friend of yours? god damn, you should do switch next, i mean it. we can lose our rest dating time, and i don't want to babe... oh so selfishly, but that's what I really want... and my time with you is everything. lol. god, sorry for this selfishness. :)

i love this one!

oh ya, I really love our time at Skype last night! woohoo!I was on good mood, and the most good thing was I can spend time with you, only, and chit-chatting everything, and doing something (lol), and bla bla bla... I love it! come on, skype is just WOWs! helpful and everything good, lol

oh damn, I miss you too much. i'm looking forward the time to see you again, directly or just on cam, sigh.

i prefer directly, i miss to touch you. aww....

well ya, remember what I said eh, if they took our time, just switch it! i know you got it baby... :)

see you soon!

xoxo

Benedictus

dearly Benny,

I'll write about you ( i mean it, only about you ) special on this posting. just introduce you to everyone who drop by here. so they'll know who Benedictus is... :)

Benedictus. Ya, panggil saja dia begitu. itu sepenggal nama dari dia... sebenarnya masih sedikit panjang namanya, tapi kalo saya ungkapkan semuanya mungkin akan sedikit mengganggu privacy dia. haha... so well, I prefer to regard his privacy. thanks for your understanding :)

dia tahun lalu sudah menamatkan bangku kuliahnya, dan sekarang sedang menjalankan kewajiban setelah selesai kuliah ( but it's not such a job ) hhm... i have no word to describe it, but also I can't say that name of thing directly... so well, hanya bisa berharap kalian tahu maksud saya :)

dia berpindah-pindah tempat saat melakukan keajibannya itu, di daerah ini atau daerah situ... bahkan mungkin bisa di luar pulau, well, dan ini lah yang menjadi ketakutan saya... haha... tapi thanks God, selama ini daerah terjauh yang pernah ditinggalinya adalah Jakarta, jadi masih memungkinkan untuk saya bertemu dengan dia... i can't imagine if that such thing takes him so far away from the place i stay and i can't reach him. itu sangat menakutkan. haha...

saat ini dia berusia sekitar lebih dari 22 tahun... but not more than 25 dia tidak begitu tua kok, haha. hanya berbeda beberapa tahun dari saya... he's a grown up boy, but not yet a man. yah... bukan remaja juga... so what should I named it? whatever, haha... yang penting kalian tahu gambaran umurnya.

dia anak semata wayang... jadi yah, banyak campuran sifat di dalam dirinya. egois, manja, pemarah, susah mengontrol emosi, ingin menang sendiri, bla bla bla... oopss look like he doesn't have any good character, eh? no no. he has so many great character indeed. haha... but  should say this, walaupun banyak sifat dia yang hhm mungkin menyebalkan, tapi dia sangat bisa menyeimbangkannya dengan sifatnya yang lain... dia sangat pintar menempatkan diri, i really appreciate it! :)

coba tebak yang mana Benny?

apa lagi yang ingin kalian tahu? 

oh okay. saya berkenalan dengan dia sekitar 2 tahun yang lalu, dan kami berhubungan intens... waktu itu kami tinggal berjauhan satu sama lain. dan well, luckily, there's an opportunity for us to meet each other, and he went hundred miles away to got here... it was so sweet :)

dan setelah itu kami berhubungan lebih serius sampai sekarang... officially it's a long distance relationship. we should exceed hundreds miles to meet just for a day or two, or if we got some luck, he has a long holiday... jadi kami bisa bertemu lebih lama, haha...

hhm... sepertinya sudah cukup banyak yang saya beritahukan tentang Benny... selebihnya nanti kalan akan tahu setelah membaca posti-osting yang akan datang.... dan nilailah sediri apakah Benny itu menyenangkan ataukan menyebalkan. 

okay now, light's out.

us and the restaurant where our first dinner took place

there's no end to talking about memories, that I made with you... and love, in between.

dear, Benny...

it has been a long time, for over months we through them all together, and the sweetness' stay still.

and i just flew behind the months we made, and all just WOWs me. it was nice, having a spontaneous-dinner at the place where we have had dinner there at the first time we met, and laughing around while you were starting to recall that moment, and keep saying you were surprised to met me at the real life. and i kept on asking, " did you regret or something, to find out i was too different with my picture? " and you said, big no no. you just had made a decision to be able to made a more serious relation with me at that time, and you tried so bad to made me believe. lol. it was nice. you are nice... :)

and another WOW is, you still remember what kind of beverage i drunk which was as same as i chose at this dinner. well, ice lime. yeah... i don't remember at all anyhow! how sweet you are.... but unlucky, we failed to had a seat in the place on our first, sooooo crowded there and we came too late, lol. but luckily, we got a table near that seat, so yeah... better we still could see that spot than not at all. lol.

Benny, i hope that this dinner doesn't the last... there will be another thousand dinners there -or any different places- we have. woohoo. there are so many steak restaurants we wanna go, and hopefully, there are so many nights available for us to make them all. wishful.

i love you, and I love the way we grab the dinner... :)

xoxo, Renty.